feeds from the Relationships forum http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:35:40 +0000 10 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6137
I live in a house with my boyfriend, another couple, and two single guys. My boyman is gone for the week at a family reunion so I've just been hanging out with everyone not doing anything in particular. The other night my roommates decided to drink a little and get silly and we all wound up in one of the single guys' room watching silly things on his computer. I was the last to vacate the room and my (drunken) roommate starts venting to me about all his horrible relationships (he was with a girl for eight years and they were going to get married, but she broke the engagement to "have some fun"). He was all teary and sad looking and didn't want to be alone so I told him I'd stay in his room until he fell asleep. So, at this point I'm sitting in a bed with my friend while he's crying/sleeping/having a nightmare on my lap and the other couple (who were also belligerent, by the way) come to the conclusion that we were trying to get "freaky" with one another. While the door was wide open. And while everyone was still awake. And while he was crying.

So now the other girl that lives here thinks I'm a total bimbo, and refuses to talk to me. And her boyfriend is whipped, so he won't hear me out either. The situation is not really so hectic anymore, because I talked to my boyfriend and he's upset that my roommates have such little faith in me.

UGHHH. I hate it when people jump to conclusions.]]> Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:35:40 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6137 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6064 i think every country, city has its own moves. (talking to, also imortant). for example i put my hand do the nose look fist at this person, tan aon that, it means, this guy stinks, and the other one knows. or i let run down my hand over my mouth, and i tell the person shut up.
thats really cool. its called ethnology. last time i saw some of this kiddy one peace in tv. it seemed that the drawaer, did not understand, what the eropean do, and who they move. but i think, thats leanable, i would say to a japanese person.

or here, when i cough. it means something like a warning.
or i put my forefinger down my nose, it means come here. i put my forefinger to the glases it means "warning"
i know the old japanese had a lot of moves, but they simply do not understand, the caucasian moves. maybe this is an hint for them.

i also traveld a lot this world. what do you think about it?]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:26:35 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=6064 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5986 Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:58:52 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5986 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5885 Mon, 27 Apr 2009 12:53:51 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5885 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5849 My friend who I always go to for advice on relationships is on vacay and I don't want to bother her.

I have been seeing X for a few months now - we met last summer in another city so we're LDR'ing it at the mo. Before he started seeing me, he was dating someone else. I should probably add that he met this girl on a dating site so the only reason why they met was for the intention of eventually having a relationship.

Our first major argument was at the start of December because this girl uploaded really "coupley" photos of both X and her in front of her Christmas tree. By "coupley" I mean, you can't even slide a piece of paper between them and they're full of (huge) smiles. I brought it up because I was quite miffed and then he finally told me about this girl, where they met etc. Apparently they were still dating until about October - I met X in September.

This past weekend was her birthday and she uploaded photos ...
X is in it and once again there are heaps of "coupley" shots. It looks like a small gathering of about 5 people and X is sitting right beside her. She's definitely single right now, she met X through a dating site, and she keeps posting these photos. Once again, I asked X what was going on and he told me that they chat on Messenger daily and that they meet a few times a week (just the two of them). Apparently they are "very, very good friends."

My question: is it completely unreasonable for me to feel uncomfortable about this?
(X is about a four hour drive from where I live right now so I had to tell him via e-mail about how I felt.)

Thanks guys.
M ]]> Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:37:14 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5849 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5831 I was having one of those days today, where I jokingly talked about getting the loft converted in our house (my mum's)and living there in 10 years time when we have the cash (so many jobs to be done in this house, not enough money!) and she laughed, "Won't you be married by then?" and the scariest thing I said was this, jokingly,
"I'm never going to leave.. I'm going to be that spinster with all the cats, who's never left home",

but there's this tiny voice that is starting to worry.

I got asked out on a date by an asiaphile who is asking any prospect out, a few weeks back, after he spoke to me for only 5 minutes in a party situation.

On a positive note, I'm enjoying the single time to study and work. Any one else having a moment of doubt?]]> Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:51:29 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5831 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5824
If there were such a thing, what does that mean? Is it two good looking people? Is it a couple that just looks "right"? Is it a couple where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts?

Are there things we expect in good looking couples? For example, if it were a straight couple, do we expect the man to be taller than a woman? Do we expect them to be of the same race?

If you're single and looking for a partner, do you sometimes think: "I would look good with that person"?]]> Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:09:11 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5824 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5761 Why I Date Asian Women
Forget the stereotypes
White Men have many
Reasons for Dating Asian Women

The number one question about the Asian Woman/White Man couple is WHY?

* Why are there so many Asian Women with White Men?
* Why are some White Men attracted so strongly to Asian Women?
* Are they seeking something outside their race?

I studied this issue at length, and I still don't really know the answer.

The answer is complex, and there is no single answer for every couple you see. It is almost impossible to generalize about such widespread group of people. I have some ideas, but I still don't know. I think some of the reasons apply to some people and others apply to other people.

Why I Date Asian Women

Looks - I find Asian women very attractive. The Asian features, black hair, slender builds, golden skin, and Asian eyes are extremely appealing to me. I don't know why I have always liked the way Asian women look. Does any man know why he finds certain looks attractive? Why is the saying "gentleman prefer blondes" not held up to the same scrutiny as a White man who prefers Asian looks.

I think physical attraction is what separates the romantic relationship between a man and a woman from deep friendship so naturally in my love life I seek out women I am physically attracted to. However, physical attraction alone is not the end all, be all of a relationship. There are a host of other reasons why I like Asian women.

Culture - I have found that people are very skeptical of my love for the Asian people and the culture they have created. Because I date Asians they assume that any attempt to understand or appreciate Asian culture is strictly an attempt to impress Asian women. I have always admired the art, philosophy, and traditions of Asia. China and Japan have always held a certain appeal for me. Being a movie buff, I regularly watch movies made in Asia or movies about Asians. The politics of the region fascinate me; I have spent countless hours discussing the Chinese freedom movement with friends.

In my relationships with Asian women I find our cultural differences make a unique bond. In my relationships with Asian women I have found a symbiotic balance between harmony and individuality that I don't find in other relationships. I believe that Americans and Asians have much to teach each other.

Their Attraction to Me - I have never been able to explain this without sounding extremely arrogant. However, I think this is an issue few people are willing to discuss despite the fact that it is a major reason.

Like any man I have women who notice me. They send out signals, "vibes", or they flirt in some manner. More often than not the women who are attracted to me are Asian. When an Asian woman looks at me with attraction it fills me with a great sense of being a handsome man. I have never figured out if a disproportionate number of Asian women find me attractive, or if the ones that do simply express it in a way that I can understand and appreciate.

My theory is that within the Asian community there are a certain percentage (10-30%) who prefer white men. These women are tend to prefer a certain type of white man; they look for certain physical traits, ways of dressing, general demeanor etc... I think that I am in this category.

I don't think I am Gods gift to Asian women. Many Asian women don't even notice me. However, I have noticed that some Asian women have gone out of their way to meet me; they have approached me, or had a friend introduce them for no apparent reason. Sometimes they don't know anything about me. I have had white women do the same, but it is much rarer.

Loyalty - The Asian women I have dated were extremely loyal. Once they decided they liked you they stood by you (notice I did not say behind) in good times and bad. They were dedicated to making me the best man I could be.

Cultural Acceptance - I have found that dating an Asian Woman pretty widely accepted, far more than the other interracial couples I have seen. The barriers faced by other interracial couples seems much greater to me. My family and friends are fairly open to an Asian woman; dating a black or Hispanic woman would probably be a lot more awkward. This is not a reason in of itself, but it does make it easier to cross the racial divide.


It's Not About Dominance

There is a notion that white men are attracted to Asian women because they can control her better. This has not been my experience. Most of the Asian women I have known in my life were educated, intelligent and had a high self esteem. I am not sure where this notion of Asian women as subservient little slaves came from; it is deeply embedded in our American mentality, and causes me a lot of grief from people who don't understand the AF/WM relationship.

One Sided Vision - People are strange creatures. They tend to believe something, then everything they see supports their belief. People tend to see any action an Asian woman does for her man as subservient, and ignore the same level from the (so called) dominant white man. Here is an example:

I agreed to change my girlfriends oil if she would do my laundry. I sat under her hot car in the Texas sun and loosened her drip pan and experienced the joy of having dirty motor oil spray on my head. An hour later I was finished, and as I got out of the shower she returned home with both our laundries (we folded them together.) A few weeks later I was at the laundry mat and the owner (Thai) came over and told me how lucky I was to have a Japanese girlfriend to do my laundry for me. He saw the image of this 5'2" woman carrying a bundle of laundry (hers and mine) into the laundry mat and assumed she was my little house servant.

The fact is my girlfriend didn't mind doing laundry, and I hated it. I on the other hand was fairly good with cars (when oil didn't explode on me) and didn't mind working on hers. We exchanged favors that day. Sometimes we would do something for each other without it being an exchange. We were both happy with the arrangement, and if she felt I wasn't doing my share she let me know! I would cook for her, or she would sew something. However, people always saw her actions as subservient, while being myopic about mine.

Speak Up - Another notion people have is that Asian women let White men have their way. They never demand anything, and always agree with the White man. All I can say is that these people have never dated the women I have. I have had my ear chewed off by enraged Asian girlfriends. The Asian women I have known are extremely powerful and demand that their men be the best they can be.

Asian Woman's Dominance - What is really ridiculous is that people will turn around in the same breath and talk about white men being on the leash with Asian women. About how Asian women "work their magic" on him and make him subservient to her. They cannot see that it is a partnership. My girlfriends and I were different from each other; the cultural and racial differences complimented each other and made us powerful partners.

Head of the Household - To be fair, I believe that there are white men out there who date Asian women so they can be in charge. The old-fashioned notion of the man as head of the family is being spurned by the American culture of today. Many men long for that. What most people forget is that many women long for that relationship as well.

I, and many other white men who date Asians do not long to be "master of the castle." However, many men do, and if the couple is happy with this arrangement then I have no problem with it. However, I do notice that when it is true with an Asian Woman and a White Man, people get very irritated by it. Far more than a mono racial couple.

Sick Relationships - One reason I made this page is because the internet is loaded with Asian Women porn sites. This propagates the notion that Asian Women with White Men is a deviant relationship based on a fetish (hence my taunting moniker Mr.. Asiaphile.) Certainly there are some sick relationships out there. Some of them are interracial, some are not. I do not believe that an Asian woman with a White man is inherently deviant.

link http://www.asianwhite.org/afwm/why.html



lol]]> Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:42:16 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5761 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5740
But does anyone ever wondered how hard it is going to be to get BOTH sides of your family to come to one place.

I mean, I want my Japanese side to come to my wedding (Well...my Canadian side too )
But if I get married in Canada, then my Japanese side'll have to pay thousand-something bucks.
If I get married in Japan (and am marrying a Canadian) than his family and my canadian family have to fly!
It's complicated eh?

For those who already are married, what happened with the family?

I guess its a thought I've just had since I was younger ]]> Fri, 05 Dec 2008 04:33:11 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5740 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5690 (!)

I'm looking for a date or a permanent girlfriend.... is anyone interested?

About me well I'm 31 years old and...oh be warned tho...I'm not physically appealing in anyway but I'll go ahead and be honest....my father is Irish-American...mother is Japanese.....I'm measured at 4'11" tall with shoes...red-brownish hair....pinkish skin....a little on the chunky side...but it's all hardly noticeable once you get to know my personality......I'm a fun guy that likes to do fun things such as play some "World of Warcraft"on weekends... or go to the movies and hang out.......stuff like that...on weekdays I work as a janitor at a high school. ...kids are great there.....
but I won't be seeing them anymore because.....I'm going to get promoted as a janitor in a college pretty soon (!)...I'm quite excited about that...new atmosphere and all.......
Lastly what I would like you to know about me is that.....I'm a conservationist....I wear the same clothes every 3 days.....I don't have a car ha! ha! ha! But I do ride a bicycle.....so don't be afraid to "roll" with me.....ha! ha!....it saves money and air.....don't think I'll ever buy a car..... (!)...and being a ultra conservationist ........this may surprise you but.....I do not use a toilet.....I use a plastic bag and a bucket for the tough ones and I use the outside bushes for the "number one" ha! ha!
Well that's me.......I'm nothing all that impressive to woman...but I hope someone sees my fun personality and what a nice guy I am and not just see me for my unattractive looks.....

So If anyone of you are interested in me please contact me......or simply reply below...... thanks (!)



.................. ....]]> Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:33:59 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5690 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5688 Here are the worst I've had from someone (some from the same people, some from others)

1)"I'm gay".... "Not really, only joking"
2)"I can see it ending badly, and I really respect you as a good friend." (from the on again off again boyfriend.. that wasn't the end.)
3)"It's not you, it's me."
4)"You know, in the future you'll look back and regret this, I'm such a great catch" (jokingly)
5)"You'll meet a great guy soon, I'm sure" - that just made me want to cry/slap him.


It's not your place to joke when splitting up with someone and it's certainly not good to evade the real reason either. I think you should be honest, and stick to your decision, it's not fair on the other person otherwise - this guy I know took 4 attempts to split up with his ex and kept sleeping with her because she 'refused' to accept his wanting to break up. That's no excuse.

Can't really think of the best way, I'm certainly not great at it, but honesty is probably the best policy right?]]> Fri, 24 Oct 2008 21:32:00 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5688 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5682
1. can't be fat, big boned, chubby, overweight or thick.
2 good posture, no sagging shoulders.
3 no curly hair
4 being 177 cm, the girl needs to be 152 cm- 175cm or 5'0-5'9
5 no smoker


Im not picky at all.

What are ur dating requirements?]]> Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:37:07 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5682 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5628
Although she is in relatively good health (she's taking medications for hypertension, high cholesterol, and osteoporosis), she has been having trouble with memory for the past ten years or so. As far as remembering people and events, she's just fine. However, she OFTEN misplaces things...

In the past few years she has become convinced that someone has been sneaking into her house to steal from her. And although I had some reservations at first, her story was so convincing I had her file a police report (there was nothing of value taken and no sign of physical entry). I suggested to her that she change the locks on the doors and make sure the screens and windows were secured hoping that might give her (and myself) some peace of mind.

Even after turning her house into a fortress, she is still insisting that her neighbors (also rather elderly) are able to break in and steal from her. The other day my mom's over-17-years old refrigerator broke down, and her first thought was that the neighbors came in while she was gone and tampered with it.

If I try too hard to convince her that it's unlikely they could break in or if I show any disbelief to her story, she becomes agitated and angry. However, going along with her stories makes me feel uncomfortable.

She is REALLY having problems with misplacing things lately because she keeps hiding her things and forgetting where she has put them. Of course, she blames her neighbors...and if she later finds the missing items, she accuses them of moving her things around.

It's very difficult talking to her...

Has anyone had experience with this? How should I respond to her stories?

]]> Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:58:45 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5628 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5591
My husband's family came for a visit to Canada. Besides hanging around me, they are not familar with western culture. My mom is quite a warm huggy person and gave them lots of hugs (and even kisses!) How strange is that in Japanese culture?

I have tried very hard to not hug them myself but figured since they were in Canada, I'd give them a hug goodbye. Totally stiff hug!! lol. I guess it's selfish but I need to hug to feel close. That's me though. Is it really a no no to hug (or kiss) in Japan? My husband doesn't elaborate enough because he gets tired of my questions. ]]> Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:46:33 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5591 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5585
My god I though he was going to die. He is in stable condition but I do not know how much brain damage there is and if it is permanent.

I cannot sleep tonight, insomnia.

I do not have much money but I feel compelled to go across the country to be with him.

Please offer your prayers to god or to buddha or whatever kami you believe in on his behalf.

He is 52 years young.....]]> Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:43:28 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5585 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5504
it'll be a first for the both of us. i have never even lived with mates, so i'm sure it'll be interesting to say the least.

any advice? do's and don't's. horror stories...?

thanks ]]> Sat, 05 Apr 2008 07:39:46 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5504 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5496 I'm getting married (again)

Anyway, Ok, so it's been sooooooooo long since I've posted that whoever is reading this probably has absolutely NO idea who I am!!

Well, I'm half Japanese (mom's Japanese) and I am marrying a Chinese guy (actually Taiwanese). So um... we want to have a fusion of our cultures for our wedding, but I'm doing all the planning (cuz he's working overseas for the year), so I won't be getting much input from him.

I need to make sure I don't step on anyone's toes! Any Chinese halvsies out there who can help me out?? We've got things narrowed down to the ceremony being in Japanese gardens and the reception at a Chinese restuarant. While there will be a few things Japanese at the reception (the wedding favors will reflect Japanese culture), nothing at the ceremony will be Chinese (except maby the color red).

Are there any absolute NO-NO's I should be aware of? Or can anyone think of anything that would be nice to incorporate into the ceremony that will honor his Chinese culture?]]> Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:02:30 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5496 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5488
For example;
In my recent experience, I was told I was too outspoken compared to Japanese girls.
I see Japanese girls being very quiet with their boyfriends and it seems like they dont really voice their own opinion. But that cant be the same for everyone.

Another pathetic difference I noticed with both my exs, were table manners...
In England I guess you are taught to eat politely... if that means anything... and if you go out for dinner, you go to be sociable. Not to guzzle down your food as fast as you can, putting as much food as you can in your mouth at once and leaving the restaurant as soon as possible... or to sit and drink to show your true (opposite) personality thereafter.

I know all this depends on the personality of a person and not necesarily culture. Such as patience, understanding and willingness being a few...

But... what culture differences do you notice or have you experienced?

Not necessarily in a negative form. Although I may be voicing my negative opinions here right now...
It might just be me thinking about these differences.. overthinking as usual... i dont know...
]]> Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:49:59 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5488 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5483

Like a Nikkei guy born and rasied in america dating a Japanese girl from japan in japan?


And is it considered interracial dating even if the guy is half japanese? And even if the guy looks more Japanese?




ps this is my last thread i swear. no more.]]> Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:14:38 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5483 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5391 i want to have a discussion about why woman love a man such as i who has such a well defined jawline. out of all the females i have personally met they have commented and praised about my very what the majority would say a perfect jawline and for curiosity purposes my doctor has in fact graphed my jawline out once and pointed out the two angles that developed it is a remarkable thing and the true potential and where my jawline really shines is when i have a five o clock shadow it really makes my face a remarkable piece of art my fiance always raves about it to her friends and i get a kick out of it as it is very flattering but yes i believe that woman are truly attracted to a man such as i with a terrific jawline. so men have you ever been complemented by a female about your jawline? Fri, 11 Jan 2008 03:52:23 +0000 http://www.halvsie.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=5391